(A man and his dog are in a living room.  The man switched off the TV).

Man:  Another heroic rescue story of a neglected creature by an animal shelter.  You liked it, I think, Richie?

His Dog:  Yes, Master.  Although I prefer the stories of heroic dogs rescuing people, personally.

M:  Oh, do you?  …Yes, maybe.

Animal shelters….  Of course you came from one of these, Richie.  But I must confess I had had a bad experience with one of them.  Traumatic, even.  I am not saying they are all bad, no.  I am sure most of them are really good.  Particularly, the one where you are from is fantastic.  I am still supporting it.

HD:  You are a good man.

M:  You had a lovely time there, I believe?

HD:  Well, I remember I had a lot of friends.  Each of our own space was rather small for my liking, but they kept it clean.  The food was mediocre, understandably, but they took us for a walk twice daily.  Not bad, actually.

M:  Hmm, Good.

HD:  What was your problem there, Master?  You were fed up with that cross-examining by inspectors, I suppose?  I know they have this very thorough interview with each prospective owner.  Although goodness knows which will own which, that is another matter, I think.

M:  What?

HD:  I was just trying to ask what traumatised you, Master.

M:  Well, first of all, it was nothing to do with you, Richie.  It happened long before you came when I was still a student.

HD:  That must have been generations ago.

M:  Ha, ha, no, Richie.  Don’t exaggerate.  I am not that old!

HD:  I was talking about canine generations.

M:  Ah…, yes, that perhaps is right.  Ha, ha, ha.  Yes, it was long before you were even born.

When you are at uni, you can find a lot of spare time, if you try.  One spring, I saw an advert looking for volunteers to help in a famous dogs’ home.  I have always loved dogs, you know, therefore I thought it could be a good opportunity for me to have interesting experience as well as learning some new skills.  I decided to apply.

HD:  Good boy!

M:  You know, Richie, this was the world’s most famous dogs’ home.  Naturally, thousands and thousands of applications flooded in for just a dozen posts.  Well, I thought, even if I failed, I would have nothing to be ashamed of.  It would be because of a huge competition.  I filled in the application form in high spirits and wrote a most passionate covering letter declaring how much we should learn from dogs.

HD:  You really were a good boy!  Just as I thought when I chose you.

M:  Thank you, Richie.   …Who did you say choose whom?

HD:  It is widely believed, in the canine world, that dogs choose their masters.

M  …Is it?   Anyway, I do not know if they loved my passion for dogs or they simply loved my CV, but they invited me for an interview just before summer.  I thought, “Wow”!  I was somehow chosen for an interview for the role!

HD:  I told you it was dogs who chose.  But, well done, Master!

M:  …??   …Well, there I went for an interview.  It was more like a long day of exams, Richie!  It took several hours with a few sessions and we even were provided lunch between sessions.

HD:  Dogs’ lunch, perhaps?

M:  Men’s lunch, of course, thankfully.

HD:  Be careful, Master.  You should say people’s lunch.  Otherwise you would be branded as a sexist these days.

M:  Oh, Sorry.  Thank you, Richie, for the warning.  Anyway, first, there was a written exam.  A lot of questions about dogs, how to care for them, their psychology, their development and breed varieties.  There even were the questions about famous canine characters in history, literature and the cartoon world!  I actually enjoyed the last, I must say.

HD:  Lots of dogs in that department, far more than cats, you know.

M:  Oh, maybe…yes.

Then we were gathered in a small group and asked to discuss practical canine issues, what best to do to resolve tricky situations, things like that.  Then we were asked to do a few tasks together.  Everyone in my group looked and sounded much better than me.

HD:  No need to worry, Master, unless they smelled better.

M:  Really?  …Well, it was friendly, of course, no explicit rivalry or anything.  The people all seemed really nice.  We are a mix of men and women, the young and the not-so-young.  There was a nice camaraderie of animal lovers, I think.

HD:  I can imagine the nice smell of it.

M:  Now, finally, we were led to meet some canine residents, and asked to show the examiners how to “interact” with dogs.  Adorable dogs!  It was the best part of the day, I remember.

HD:  Smelling even nicer!

M:  Anyway, all in all, I enjoyed the day, but was exhausted afterwards.  I had not thought the day would be so intense!

HD:  The poor canines must have been exhausted, too, looking after those humans.

M:  You think they were…?

Well, the week after, I had a phone call saying that I was selected.  “Wow!”  Again I was delighted.  But that was not the start of the actual work yet.  Instead, I was asked if I was ready to go for another full day of training.  “OK”, I said.  It would all be fun, you know, even if not paid.

HD:  Money cannot buy you love, Master, which, by the way, is all about the canine.

M:  Oh…, that is true, Richie, actually.

There I went again, for a day of training.  We had a few lectures.  First, we had to learn the history of the home.  They were extremely proud of its more than century old history.  Then there was a lecture about the “code of conduct”.  Then another which explained all the practicalities, like where things were, what could be used when, you know.

After lunch–people’s lunch, that was, we were out in the grounds with those four-legged residents now, practicing the things we were supposed to do.

HD:  Ah, they made you sit, stay, and come.

M:  No!  Well, sort of….

The day was most enjoyable as ever.  But it was hot, height of summer now, you know, and classes all day was much harder than my life at uni!  Again, exhaustion came when finished, though with real sense of achievement.

We had a lot to learn at home, too.  We had to remember everything about the home so that we could explain to the visitors.  We were given our timetable there along with different procedures as well as “scripts” to memorise.  Actually, I spent quite a time practicing all these at home.

HD:  Very good boy.

M:  A week later, the job started at last!  It started at 9 in the morning and finished about 5pm.  The grounds of the home were huge, naturally, for the sake of the dogs, whom we exercised there.  For each dog, it must have felt a short stroll, perhaps, but there were about 200 dogs!  We in turn exercised them all.  There also was training sessions to teach them how to sit, stay, etc., and some tricks, too.  Normally they were good natured and well behaved, but not all the time.  Sometimes we had to struggle to stop the dog trying to run around like mad.  Other times we had to tell the visitors to keep the excited children under control.

HD:  Not the excited dogs on leash.  Impressive.

M:  Overall, these were hard days, though stimulating.  I was completely worn out each day and came home to sleep like a lo…

HD:  Dog.

M:  No, lo…ah, yes, dog.  I worked like a dog and slept like a dog.

HD:  What wonderful days you had!

M:  Yes, it was wonderful…until one day, after about 2 months, when I received a totally unexpected telephone call from the so-called volunteer manager.

Out of blue, I was told there were not very good feedbacks about me from the visitors to the home.  “Therefore”, she said, “regrettably, you are no longer needed.  You need not come as from tomorrow”.

“What???” I asked.  “Could you tell me why?”  “Because more than one customer thought you were not pleasant enough, as I have said”, was her reply.

I could not believe my ears.  You know, Richie, I had never been told I was unpleasant from anyone at any time in all my life before.  OK, people sometimes said I was funny, or sometimes too enthusiastic, or a bit eccentric, but never ever unpleasant or that sort!!  I was shocked.

There was no use arguing, though.  She was adamant.  “No need to come as from tomorrow”, she repeated throughout the conversation.  “OK, I will not come any more”, I said eventually and hung up.

No “thank you” at all.  Even if something was really wrong with me, I thought I deserved to be thanked for my dedication and hard work for 2 months, did I not?  All those long hours of work, after a lot of exams and trainings with some homework as well.  Of course, I volunteered.  But that did not mean I deserved no gratitude, you know.  I knew from the first it would be unpaid, but then I remembered I had not even paid for my train fare, for that was to be reimbursed later at the end of the year.

I am not talking about money here, Richie, I hope you understand.  They would not have lost anything if they had thanked me for once.  Would they?

And the way of this dismissal!  A sudden single telephone call on the day before?  No official letter or explanation.  Was this the decent way to dismiss someone, even if he was a volunteer?

They might have a reputation to be an excellent rescue centre for dogs for more than a century, but the way they treated a volunteer who helped their celebrated work was awful.  They should have learned how to treat people before telling others how to treat animals!

HD:  Umm….  Were you popular among ladies, both human and canine?

M:  I thought so.

HD:  Jealous.

M:  Richie!!  You should not be jealous if I was popular among bitches!

HD:  No, Master.  Jealousy is more human than canine.  We do sometimes get jealous but seldom.  Humans do almost all the time.

M:  You are changing the subject, Richie.

HD:  No.  What I am saying is it was likely, considering human nature, that there was some other reason, something else they would not or could not tell you why they wanted you to leave.  The most likely answer, again with my knowledge of human nature, is jealousy.

M:  What are you talking about?

HD:  Well, Master.  I may be wrong.  But for me it sounded rather odd that the visitors to the home complained about your attitude.  How did they know who you are?  What chances did they have to tell your superior their thoughts on individual volunteer?  They came to see dogs not staff.

It smelled fishy to me.

M:  Hmmmmm.  Now that you said that, it really does sound odd.

During my days there I had never encountered any awkward situation with visitors, or even slightly unpleasant one for that matter.  If some visitors thought I was really unpleasant among other staff whilst I was with them, they would have shown it.  Even if they said nothing, I should have sensed it.  On the contrary, visitors always seemed happy to me, fully enjoying their experience.

HD:  You see?  Did you break this “code of convict”?

M:  “Code of conduct”, Richie.   …Of course not.

I was always punctual, responsible and professional, I believe.  I had done nothing wrong.  As I have said, I had good relationships both with my fellow volunteers and dogs.  I could not think of anything to justify my sudden and abrupt dismissal.

HD:  Then I conclude that someone in the home got jealous of your popularity, or whatever about you, and just wanted to get rid of you.  Humans do that.  Look at your history.

But it is good news.  It meant you were charming, Master.  Congratulations!

M:  Whaaat?  You know, Richie, I was hurt.  I was young, therefore, more sensitive.

HD:  Not any more.

M:  …Maybe.  But I felt unfair.  I felt like being betrayed by the people to whom I showed my honest dedication.

The experience put me off completely.  I never thought of working for an animal shelter ever again.

HD:  They were too busy being good to dogs to be good to people, I suppose.  Humans are not good at doing more than one thing at a time.

M:  Are dogs good…?

HD:  I am afraid not.  But we dare not even try.  Canines know their limit.  Humans do not, or do not want to.  That is the difference.

M:  Hmmmm….  That actually sounds true.

HD:  See?  Cheer up, Master.  You were loved by dogs.  That was the best thing!

“To err is human, to love, canine”, Alexander Pup.

M:  Pope, that is, Richie!

HD:  Sorry, Alexander Pope.

M:  And it is “To err is human, to forgive, divine”, Richie.

HD:  Is it?