(An evening.  A man and his dog are in the living room.)

His Dog:  It is rain, Master.

Man:  What?

HD:  It has just started raining, that was what I said.

M:  No, Richie, it’s not raining.  Look, I can see the moon and stars from here!  Look out from the window!

HD:  Well, I can see them.  But I also hear that it is raining, Master.

M:  Ha, ha, ha, Richie, that is impossible!  You have just heard the leaves rustling.

HD:  No, Master.  I can smell the water as well.

M:  What?

HD:  And it is getting heavier!

(The sound of water falling is now audible.  Just like it is raining.)

M:  You are right, Richie.  I can hear it!!

(The sound has got louder.  Now there is a lot of noise like a heavy rain.  The dog is running out of the room.)

HD:  Master, it is raining in the bathroom!!

M:  Whaaaat???!!!

(The man also runs out from the living room and dashes into his bathroom.)

M:  Oh, my God!!

(The water is coming down from the ceiling into the whole bathroom and the bathroom floor is now beginning to flood.)

(The man dashes out to the neighbour’s flat above, leaving the dog standing in the “rain”).

 

(A few hours later.)

M:  It was the neighbour upstairs, Richie.  He had a shower, you know, and the pipe up there was somehow blocked.  It is now stopped.  He has arranged the plumber to come.  Until the work is done, he is not going to use his shower again.   Thank God, I was here at home when it happened!

HD:  Your bathroom is now a bath tub, Master.  You have got a bigger bath!

M:  Oh, Richie!  It is NOT a good thing!!  I have to call the decorator to repaint the ceiling.

HD:  Wow, you will now have a NEW bathroom, Master!

M:  No, no, it is NOT a good thing, Richie.  There will be work done there, you know.  I will have to be here all day to supervise it.

HD:  You will be here all day!  A holiday, then!!

M:  No, Richie, no….  Well, you are a happy soul, who can enjoy ANYTHING.

HD:  Will it cost you a lot, Master, this “work”?

M:  Oh, no.  It is my neighbour’s fault, and he pays for it.

HD:  How generous of him!  You are lucky to have a nice neighbour, Master.

M:  What?  No, no, Richie.  It is his responsibility to pay for the damage because it is HIS pipe, which caused the flood, you know.

HD:  Well, perhaps, yes, but that will give you a newly decorated bathroom on his expense, Master.  How nice!

M:  Oh, Richie, you are a nice guy.  I love you.

HD:  Thank you, Master, I love myself, too.  And of course, I love you, too, Master.

M:  ….

 

(A few weeks later, the decorating is going on in the bathroom now that the ceiling is completely dried.  The man is in his living room with his dog whilst the work is done.)

M:  Well, Richie, this sort of thing happens quite often here, I must say.

HD:  Re-decorating?

M:  No, no, the flooding inside.  I mean, water accidents at home.  Not a natural disaster that happens out there, which, I hope, does not happen so often.  But the plumbing problems are very common in this country, unfortunately.  You know, buildings are old, normally, so are pipes.  I have had this sort of problem many times before you came, Richie.  Countless times.  I can even say it happens regularly!

HD:  Does it?  A new bathroom every time, then, Master?

M:  Ha, ha, ha, no.  Not always like that.  Once I had an awful incident, which did not give me anything new, just a really tiresome, nightmarish time.  It actually was rather traumatic, you know, Richie.

HD:  What nightmare did you have?  Did you manage to escape from the monster?

M:  Ha, ha, ha, Richie, no, no monster was involved.  Just water.

HD:  Was the flood much more serious than this time?

M:  Actually, no.  It was the opposite.  It was the complete opposite, Richie.

HD:  ???

M:  It was the day before I went away for 2 weeks on holiday abroad.  I packed my luggage, planning to have an early night to prepare for a long flight the following day.  I was having a shower in the evening.  A nice shower after a day’s work, you know.  And suddenly, the water stopped.  “Alright”, I thought.  I had almost finished.  I dried myself, quickly dressed, thinking it was one of those things which happened but soon recovered.

No.  I was wrong.  A half an hour later, I wanted to have a glass of water.  I turned the tap in the kitchen.  No water.  “This is strange”, I thought.  I tried the other tap, which was for hot water.  No, no water there, either.  I went back into the bathroom and tried the sink.  No cold or hot water.  I tried the bath, and then the shower.  No water at all.   Oh, my God!!  I am going on holiday tomorrow!  Please, no accident!!

HD:  The water had turned into a monster, I believe, who escaped.

M:  …!?   I tried to think.  Well…, I was having a shower.  A lot of water was involved, naturally.  I had used the washing machine before that, during the day.  I mean I may have used a plenty of water.  But I doubted I had used too much water to have no more available, you know.  Actually, that did not make sense.  This happened when I was renting a flat elsewhere and the flat did not use the tank.  The water came straight from the main supply.  It was impossible I could “use up” the whole water supply.  Unless there was a disruption in the supply for some reason, like a road work.  Unlikely.  It was 10 o’clock in the evening, and was even Sunday.

HD:  The monster wanted a day-off, naturally.

M:  (Ignoring his dog’s remark) Then I tried the taps again.  Each let out a drop or two of water now, no more.  I was beginning to panic.  “Calm down”, I said to myself and thought.  Well, I did remember some cluttering noise came out from the boiler just before the water suddenly stopped.  “Was that any sign?” “Is this something to do with the boiler?”  “Hang on, that does not make sense either.  The boiler must have something to do with hot water, but surely, not with cold water”.  Anyway, the central heating was working alright.

HD:  The boiler made a sound to warn you about the monster, I am sure!

M:  Well, actually, I think it did warn me, though no monster was involved.

Anyway, at that moment I did not work out what was going on, but there was nothing I could do that evening.  I was going away in the morning the next day.  I could manage without any drinking water or perhaps the water to wash myself for once before leaving.  I tried the toilet and, thankfully, the WC was working.  I had decided to contact my landlord early next morning and explain, ask him to have a look, and if necessary, call the plumber to fix the problem.  It is not very comfortable to have a workman in whilst you are away in abroad, but in a way, it might be good, for I did not have to be subjected to the waterless life during that time, and it would be my landlord who would work it out.  By the time I would be back, everything would be alright again.

HD:  Of course, his holiday would finish when yours would.

M:  …???

So, the next morning I did as I planned.  I called my landlord, explained the situation and asked him the rest.  Just before leaving for the airport, I enquired of my next door neighbour if their water supply was OK.  They said there was no problem at all.  I later emailed this to my landlord.

It was a bit of mystery as there was no work going on either in the building or in the street.  No disruption in supply and the neighbour had no problem.  The boiler did make a noise but only once and only for a second, and the heating was unaffected at all.  Still both hot and cold water were affected.  There was no tank, which meant the supply should have had no limit….  I was puzzled.

But I had the plane to catch in the morning and was off for holiday.  I tried to forget all about this and left my landlord to look after it!

A few days later, on holiday, I received an email from my landlord.  He went to the flat, checked the water and it was alright.  The water was running normally, he said.  “Oh, well, one of those things then….” I thought.

 

M:  Two weeks later, I came back to the flat.  Worn out after the long flight.  Everything was alright.  I cooked, washed up, bathed and went to bed, thanking my landlord on the phone for his help.

HD:  Good.

M:  The next day, when I came home in the evening, I had a shower.  Whilst doing so, I heard the same cluttering noise coming from the boiler.  Then the water stopped.  Suddenly.  Oh, no!  It was exactly the same as before.  The problem was still there with me!!

HD:  He was still away, rather!

M:  After that, the same thing all over again.  No water from hot or cold tap either in the kitchen or in the bathroom.  When tried, each tap let out a few drops of water, which then faded into nothing.  I managed to brush my teeth with the bottle of mineral water I brought from the aeroplane.  I did have a shower, or sort of.  No need to wash all the dishes and cups there and then.  I could use the WC, which was vital.  I had a packet of wet tissues, which I could use to wipe my hands.  “Oh, well, I can manage till tomorrow morning when I call the landlord, who, in turn, will call a plumber, who, I hope, will be available before long”, I thought and went to bed.

Next morning, I telephoned the Thames Water just in case.  They reported no disruption in their supply or any existing problem.  The plumber was called and asked to come on the day.  I cancelled all the appointments for the day and waited for my landlord to call me back to tell the time the plumber could come.

HD:  A day-off for you, too, now.

M:  (Ignoring his dog again) Then I tried to use the toilet.  No water.  Oh, Noooooooooooooooo!!  I realised this was now an emergency!  No water to drink, wash, or even to use the WC!!  The flat was now inhabitable!  I could not wait any longer.  I called my landlord again and begged him to send the plumber as soon as possible.   He said the plumber would come in 2 hours’ time.  OK, 2 hours was manageable.

Waiting for the plumber, I thought this was not the kind of thing you would like to have any day, but in particular, just before or after the long holiday.  I was still tired after the journey and the business could not be resumed normally.  I felt hopeless.  But I could not lose hope just yet.  The situation had to be resolved.

HD:  Ummm….  The water stopped before you left.  But it was OK when your landlord tried.  So was it when you came back.  Then it stopped again.  Am I right?

M:  Yes, you are.  That is right.

HD:  How was that possible?  Why did the water come back once, and go again?

M:  To be honest, Richie, I don’t know.  But it seems that the water had been somehow supplied really slowly and it accumulated in time.  Drip by drip, you know.  That was why it was there when my landlord tried a few days later as well as when I came home after 2 weeks.

HD:  Aha, I see…The Moldau.

M:  What?

HD:  The Moldau, Master.  It is a part of the Czech composer Smetana’s famous work The Homeland.

M:  Well, I know that.  What has it to do with this predicament?

HD:  Well, what I have heard is when Smetana wrote the work, he wanted to tell us that even the greatest river started from a drip of water.  A grand thought, is it not?  I love the concept, you know, Master.

M:  Oh, Richie…!  You really are a great dog.  And one of the happiest, I am sure.

HD:  Thank you, Master, for your complement.  But we dogs are born to be happy, basically.

M:  Well, yes, it seems like that.

HD:  And of course your landlord thought everything was alright when he came because it actually was.

M:  Indeed.  I doubt even the plumber could notice any problem then, as the water was running normally.

HD:  Yes, we always have to catch a culprit red-handed.

M:  What did you say?

HD:  I tried to say, “We have to catch a thing when it is actually happening”, Master.

M:  Oh, yes, that’s right.  Ha, ha, ha…you are strange, Richie.  Well, clever, but…err, eccentric.

HD:  I take it as another complement.

M:  Well, yes.

HD:  Thank you, Master.  As I have told you before, a dog resembles his master.

M:  Ha, ha, ha.

HD:  Anyway, sorry, Master, I interrupted your story.  Tell me, please, what happened next?

M:  Well, the good plumber came as he promised.  He tried the taps.  No water from any of them.  Even to him, it was a mystery.   He asked around the neighbours but no one reported any problem.  The boiler was alright.  He knew there was no problem with the main water supply.  He stripped the wooden floor to see if there was any problem there. None.

HD:  No monster was hiding, I see.

M:  Next half an hour or so, he went out from and back into the flat several times to find out what was wrong.  Finally, he had the idea.  He went to his van and brought back a hoover.  He said it was the air in the pipe, connected to that particular flat, which caused the problem.  The pipe was so full of air, for some reason unknown even to him, which prevented the water from the main coming into it, he said.

HD:  I see it now.  The air was the monster!

M:  Well, yes, …in a way.

The poor guy struggled for another hour with his hoover to suck out all the unnecessary air stored in the pipe.  It was a hard and difficult task demanding both skills and strength.  His face was red and now he was sweating as if in a sauna.  A lot of noise and grunts.  I cheered.  Then, at last!!  We saw the water coming.  Slowly.

HD:  Well done!!

M:  It took some more time for water to come back to normal.  Both the plumber and I were exhausted.  We cried with joy when it came flowing in the end.  I thanked him heartily and he left.

HD:  Hooray!!

M:  Several minutes later, I heard the tapping noise from somewhere.  “What now?”  I went to investigate.  I saw a tiny amount of water dripping from one of the pipes close to the boiler.  Oh, no!!  I turned the screw there and tried my best to stop the leak.  It was in vain.  The leak was not from the screw but a different part of the pipe.  It seemed it had been alright only because the water was not flowing.  But now that the water had come back to normal, this leak started.  A little water, but a constant leak.  My trouble had not come to an end yet!  Damnn!!

HD:  The Moldau in the flat, that was not particularly good.

M:  No, certainly not!

Putting an empty bottle underneath the pipe to receive the leaking water, I called the landlord again.  Explained what was happening and asked him to send the plumber back.  He called the plumber’s mobile.  The earliest the plumber could come back was the next afternoon.  “All right”.  I said to myself.  “I can drink, I can wash, I can use the WC.  The immediate predicament has gone”.  I cancelled another days’ work and made myself ready.

HD:  Another day-off!

M:  The next afternoon the plumber came back.  He saw the leak and confirmed it had not affected the boiler.  At least that was a relief.  He took out his tools and tried to stop the leak.  He used all his might but the drip persisted.  Then he took out some glue to seal the leak, without success.

“I am sorry”, he said.  “The pipe is old and it had to be replaced.  But I cannot do it now, for an obvious reason.  You should tell the neighbours and ask their cooperation.  I will talk to your landlord and he will get back to you later to discuss when to do this.  Until then keep this bottle here to receive the drips”.  And he left.

I felt helpless.  My water problem was ongoing.  “How long more do I have to endure this?  How much more time do I have to sacrifice for this?  Oh…no….”

HD:  Too many holidays certainly affect your finance….

M:  (Ignoring his dog) A few minutes later, the plumber returned.  It was a surprise.  “Actually, I had a thought”, he said.  “Let us try”.  He turned all the taps in the flat and kept them open, letting the water running.  Now, Richie, I must confess I did not quite know what exactly he did.  But, using the pressure, he did something really clever.  The leak stopped.  Thank God!

HD:  Hooray, again!!

M:  “It may be temporary, but I hope this will last for a few years”, he said.  “Oh, well”, I thought, “This is not my flat after all and I only hope the pipe will be alright as long as I am here”.

I moved out before any other problem happened there, Richie.   Of course I had some since I came here, like the other day, but not the one as traumatic as that one, thankfully.  Even now, when I am having a shower, I sometimes fear the water would stop suddenly!

HD:  No need to worry, Master.   I am here to watch the monster!