Man:  Listen, Richie.  Tomorrow, I have to go to Edinburgh on business, which is the capital of Scotland.  A beautiful city, which I am sure you would like, but far north.  I have to stay overnight and come back the next day in the evening.  I should love to take you, Richie, but I cannot.  It’s a quick business trip, which I hope you understand.

His Dog:  I understand.  I am a good dog.

M:  Good.  Now, whilst I am there, you need meals and walks.  So I have asked my sister, whom you met briefly before, to come here to look after you.

HD:  OK.  I will be a good dog and look after her.

M:  What?

HD:  I just said I would be a good boy.

M:  Great.  I will bring something nice back for you, Richie.

Remember, behave yourself!

HD:  You can trust me that she will.

 

(Next evening.  The dog and his master’s sister were in the living room, talking after the day spent together.)

Sister:  I can see you are not only more intelligent but much wiser than most humans, Richie.

Dog:  You are too kind, Mistress.

S:  No, really.  Between you and me, Richie, you certainly are far wiser than your master!

D:  I would not say that myself, Mistress.

S:  Ha, ha, and loyal, you are!

D:  That is all about the dog, actually.

S:  And funny, too!

D:  It is canine nature to look at the bright side of everything.

S:  Perhaps you can tell me what I cannot understand in the human world, Richie.

D:  I should be delighted to help you!

S:  Well, Richie, what has always puzzled me is men’s psychology.  By men, I mean human males, you know.

D:  I agree that they are strange.

S:  Do you?  That is promising.  Men lie, don’t they?

D:  So do women, I am afraid.  That is human, if you permit me to say so, Mistress.

S:  OK, yes.  But their mind changes like the English weather.  I don’t know how to trust them.

D:  I understand you have had unhappy experiences, dear Mistress.

S:  I have.  Perhaps you can tell me what they are thinking, Richie, and what I should do with them.

D:  I am not sure about the former, but I am sure to help you with the latter.

S:  Ha, ha…that is good!  Thank you, Richie.

Well…, I am not young, you know, I am your master’s elder sister.  But am still single.   I have no boyfriend.  Men are mystery to me, Richie.  They are inscrutable.  I have met several guys but they were all the same.  They all left me suddenly and I was puzzled.  I have no idea what wrong I had done to deserve this.

D:  It is probable you have done nothing wrong, but let me hear your story.

S:  It has always been the same story.  But let me tell you my most recent experience, Richie, and you will tell me what you think.

D:  I am ready!

S:  Well, I met the man when I was volunteering for a charity at one of the organisation’s parties.  He came to me and introduced himself.  He gave me some complements on what I had done to the charity and said he had wanted to see me.  He was nice, you know, kind, smiling with good manners and generally tried his best to impress me.  We talked about our charity.  He seemed to be a decent man with compassion and understanding.  Then we had lovely conversations about our interests, like music, travel, books and films, and so on.  It was enjoyable.  He was eager to see me again.  We exchanged our telephone numbers.

I thought he was lovely but nothing more particularly.  But he telephoned me, after that, every day.  Telling me what he did, what he thought, you know, just chatting.  His stories were interesting and I enjoyed talking to him.

We arranged to meet again.  Had lunch together and went for a nice walk in the park.  We talked about our respective jobs, friends, families, and our childhoods.  We had quite a good time, realising we had a lot in common, though, of course, we were very different, too.  I thought he was genuine and honest.  We liked each other.  I am sure the feelings were mutual.  I thought we could be good friends, though I was not sure we could be a couple.

D:  Very sensible.  “Haste makes waste”, so they say.

S:  What an intellectual dog you are, Richie!!

D:  You are very kind, Mistress.

S:  Now, then, he started calling me in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening.  I mean more than a few times a day.  Nothing intrusive, not a long call, but just to tell me where he was and what he was doing.  He also asked me what I was doing, to which I answered casually.  Nothing special, but he kept calling me like this day by day, actually he called me even whilst walking to and from his office.  He said I was attractive, pretty, had a lovely smile which made him happy.  You know, all sorts of nice things.

D:  Men are very complementary when they want something from you.  So are women, normally.

S:  Ha, ha, Richie, so true, perhaps!

We started exchanging long emails as well.  Although our locations and work commitments prevented us from meeting up every week, we talked a lot every day and began to know each other rather well.  We were now talking about private things, too.  Our health, problems in family and naturally, past experiences in love.  He was honest about his own, so was I.

D:  Good.  “No legacy is so Richie as honesty”, it is said.

S:  Wow, Richie, that is Shakespeare!  You are amazing!  Although it is “no legacy is so rich as honesty”, in fact, you know.

D:  Oh, is it?

S:  Anyway, I said to him, quite frankly, I thought we could be really good friends as we understood each other well, but was not sure we could make a good couple as we had led rather different lives up until then.  To this remark, he responded earnestly, that he did not agree.  He said he could see no problem at all in us becoming a lovely couple.  “Yes, we might be different in a way, but had much in common, too”.  Anyway, he would try his best to keep me happy, he said.  He was very keen.

We met again.  Went driving by his car.  We went to the sea.  An outstanding view.  It was breathtaking.   We walked along the shore hand in hand.  He was considerate, asking me every now and then if I felt OK.  We had tea in an archaic little café.  Talked a lot.  Walked more.  Arm in arm.  Then back to town to have dinner by candlelight.  We talked about next holiday.  He said, let us do this, do that, you know, visit lovely places, have nice meals and see beautiful things together.  It was romantic.  At the end of the day, I thanked him for a lovely day.

D:  Sounds to me a really good day out, I agree.

S:  Yes, Richie, it was.  After that day, he wrote to me saying that he was thinking about me all the time and wondering what I thought of him.  You know, Richie, men try doing this until finally you show your real interest in them.  But I had had some bitter experiences before, so, the next time we met I confessed to him.  I was very fond of him.  But it always had been like that.  Men started things.  Very keenly.  Till I fell for them.  Then after a while, they inevitably changed their mind.  Somehow.  I had no idea what was wrong.  But they just disappeared.  Without any words.  Left me hurt.  Inexplicably.

D:  Oh, my God….  I know what it is like.

S:  Of course…, Richie, you were abandoned by your previous owner….

D:  Yes…but your brother picked me later!  I am happy!

S:  Oh, Richie, you are sweet!

Then I told him honestly and plainly.  “I have had enough of those.  I should not like to make the same mistake again.  I don’t want to be hurt any more.  Sorry, I cannot trust you”.

You know, Richie, I was candid.  And what do you think he replied to this?  “That was what always happened to you?  I am sorry.  Well, let us change it now.  I am different.  I am not like all the other men you have met before.  You can trust me.  I will not change.   I don’t know about them but there is no hidden agenda or anything with me.   You can believe what I say as they are.  Now, let us change it all”.  Well, Richie, I must say I was moved.  I was impressed by his earnestness.   I realised I was in love with him.

D:  So was he, I believe.  I know a thing or two about male psychology.

S:  I am not surprised if you say that, as that was what I thought.

He opened his arms, smiling.  I jumped into them.  We held each other tightly.  We were happy, you know.  He even said that my happiness was his!

D:  (Smiling broadly) I have told you he was in love with you.

S:  No, he was not, though…it seemed.  The following day, I plucked up my courage and told him that I was in love with him.

D:  Well done, Mistress!

S:  No, Richie, no, not at all.  This confession had some strange effect on him.  He started to talk of his “problem”.  He did not say what exactly the problem was, but now kept mentioning his “problem” each time we talked.  He said that he had a “dark side”, which I might not like.

D:  Umm…every human has a dark side, I think, and a bright side, of course.

S:  Exactly.  That was my thought.  Naturally, I told him that I had my problem as well, which he might not like.  We all had our problems, I said, still we could love each other.  But he insisted his was difficult.  He was not sure he could overcome it.  Actually, this was not what I had expected to hear, but I told him softly but firmly, “Let me help you.  Let us overcome it together.  Your problem might be difficult for you alone, but if we are two together it could be easier.  We could be stronger.  I am always ready and very happy to help you, whatever the problem is”.

D:  Good girl.  It was your turn to show your earnestness.

S:  Well, by then I was completely in love with him, you know.  Anyway, to my offer of help and cooperation, he replied, rather reluctantly and in a faint voice, “OK, thank you”.

S:  In hindsight, I think that was the beginning of the end.  But at the time I did not realise it.  A few months later, something happened.  He began to be elusive.  The frequency of his phone calls dwindled.  Less emails.  It is now increasingly difficult to catch him.  I must tell you, Richie, we had no quarrels, arguments or disagreements.  I did nothing different.  I had always been loyal and understanding.  No particular incident between us.  It is clear, however, he was now trying to avoid seeing me.  No answer to any questions.  He was never unpleasant or rude.  But clearly, he was a different man.  Just trying his best not to talk to me or have any contact with me.

Then he disappeared.  He didn’t tell me where he would go.  But he was no longer where he used to be.  No reply to telephone messages.  No reply to emails.  Just… vanished.

D:  Goodness…!

S:  I don’t know what happened, but something happened to him, which prompted him to do this.

D:  Not to him, but in him, I should say.

S:  What…?

Anyway, I must tell you, Richie, this was not the first time I had this sort.  If this happens to you once or twice, or even three times, that could be your bad luck.  But if this keeps happening to you all your life, you begin to wonder what wrong you do to men…or more precisely, what is wrong with you, I mean, me!?

D:  I do not think there is anything wrong with you, dear Mistress.

S:  No?  Then why do they do this, Richie?  What do men think?

It is always they who start things.  Choose and approach you.  Try hard to impress you.  Lovely times.  Nice things.  Talk of future.  Then suddenly, it all comes to end.  They change.  Leave me behind shocked and confused.  Without explanation.  Why, I wonder?

Can you imagine, Richie, how much I am hurt?  I am sure you can, as a once abandoned dog.

Tell me, Richie, is there anything in me which prompts this sort of action?  Am I wrong in any way?

D:  Dear Mistress, in my opinion, it is the men who had problems.  You seem to be a nice, kind, caring person.  Of course you must have some shortcomings, we all do.  I have mine, as your brother is ready to tell you.  That does not matter.

It sounds more like that the men you met had something wrong with them.  They had their own problems within them, against which they were struggling.  I do not know what.  They are strange creatures, you know.  Often beyond my comprehension.  But most certainly, those men were troubled.

S:  Troubled?

D:  Yes.  They were not evil sorts, if I may speak up for them.  They were just poor creatures.  I am sure they had no intention to hurt you.  No one ever really wants that, I think, –well, almost….  I know there are evil people, mind you.  But I can tell you, Mistress, there are no such sorts in canine. For that, I thank God.

S:  No, there are not, I am sure.

D:  As for those men you met, however, they were not ready for love, unfortunately, it seems, by some reason.  Not yet, at least.  The awful thing for you, Mistress, was that they themselves had not realised the fact until you made them realise it.  Selfish, yes.  They did not think about your feelings.  Irresponsible, in a way.   Like puppies.  They were so occupied with their own little survival that they could not afford to take other’s lives into account.

S:  ….

D:  I am very sorry for you, Mistress.  But it was not your fault, I assure you.  Let me recommend you to meet some grown-up next time, not a puppy.  Puppies are honest, genuine, often really cute.  And they love a caring person like you.

If you are also a puppy, there may be no problem.  You can just play boisterously together and part when things go wrong.  But you are not a puppy, dear Mistress.  You are a grown-up lady, with intelligence, who has her own views and opinions.  You need a grown-up guy, who knows what he is doing, who does not be afraid to be himself.

The problem is, in human cases, that it does not depend on age, you know.  It depends on each personality, which makes it far more complicated, I am afraid.

S:  Ha, ha, ha, ha…Richie, you are really clever.  Wise, rather.  And…hilarious!!

Thank you, Richie, you have explained it very well.  You have given me insight…and courage, Richie.  I understand why my brother loves you so much.  I think he needs you, for he is a little bit inclined to a puppy side.

D:  My thought exactly, though of course, this is only between you and me, dear Mistress.